Letting go of fear to embrace 2016

As 2017 approaches in a few short hours, I can’t help but get caught up in the idea of starting fresh, making resolutions and embracing changes that may come. The New Year is a time to let go of the regrets, make statements about what we want to do better in our lives and wake up tomorrow with a positive outlook and hopefully not a hangover. New Years is like our own personal reset button.

In order to reset and start new, we often look back on the past year to admit what wasn’t successful, what we can improve upon and what we want to change for the better. This year I don’t want to focus on failures but instead look back on my achievements. It was a pivotal year for me as I went outside my comfort zone and did a lot of things that scared me. I came out the other end having grown and knowing that having done those scary things made me realize how exciting life is and how much I may have missed all these years. Instead of allowing fear to cripple me I used it to motivate me. If it was something I looked at from the outside in awe knowing I was to afraid to try it, I knew it was something I had to do. What was the worst thing that could happen? I feel embarrassed, shake my head and tell myself that maybe I was right?

2016 was the year I quit being in fear of meeting new people and enjoying new experiences just because I didn’t have a friend beside me. I took me quite a few months to put my courage into action but once I took the leap I couldn’t stop.

In 2016:

• I decided to let go of some of my Lululemon gear, posted it for sale on line and ended up with an amazing friend. Letting go of that duffle I loved but never used rewarded me with someone I wish I had in my life years ago.
• I joined a Facebook chat group and actually posted comments
• I met the most fabulous ladies from Canada and the United States as a result of the Facebook chat group, met them all in Vancouver and now have some great friendships as a result.
• I let go of my self-judgements and started going to yoga on a regular basis and found a community of people who I don’t know personally but feel spiritually connected.
• Rather than having the fear of being laid off cripple me, I worked like I would be safe, made financial preparations in case, and made the decision that if it was so, I could have some fun and work somewhere because I wanted to, not because I didn’t have a choice. (I did not lose my job, but if I had, I was secretly looking forward to the possibilities knowing my lifestyle would change.)
• My husband I and I went for lunch with his college roommate who he hasn’t seen in far too long (remember me meeting new people is scary) and ended up having an incredible afternoon full of laughs and good wine.
• I joined a running club and smashed my preconceived notions that runners can be an odd group as I no longer care when I have a crappy run as I always leave smiling knowing I got out there and had a lot of laughs surrounded but the most amazingly supportive people.
• I bought a 10 pass card to a boxing studio feeling awkward, shy, uncoordinated and afraid only to leave energized and exhausted at the same time once again surrounded by amazing people full of encouragement and motivation.
• I have reconnected with friends and family I haven’t seen in far too long and am always amazed at how time passes yet we pick up right where we left off.

What will 2017 bring? I am ready to set my intentions but you will have to wait until then to find out. 😉

t.g.2016

 

 

 

If you don’t like where you are, then move. You aren’t a tree.

 

I saw a quote written in grafitti on a building as I commuted to work one morning. It seemed to resonate with me although I’ve likely looked at it before but perhaps I had never really paid it much attention. I wondered as I walked from the train station to my office building if seeing it on that particular morning was some divine source poking me on the shoulder with yet another reminder that where I am in life really is my choice and not just forces of nature working against what I think I really want. That was the key; what I think I want as opposed to what I know I want.

This week I am on what I believe is a much-needed break. I searched for what I thought was a dream vacation to somewhere with a beach, warm weather and someone to cook my meals, clean my room and serve me drinks, but ended up deciding on was 9 days with my parents at their vacation home in Arizona. For a moment I admit I felt remorse as I booked the flight because what ran through my head was ‘I guess it will do’.

As I sit on the patio with a coffee in my hand looking at the pool I remind myself I am truly fortunate. It is easy to forget the stresses of work I endured late last year. It is easy to forget I have an amazing home in the Canadian Rockies and not think about what needs to be done to keep it as fabulous as I’ve become accustomed. It is easy to forget many people never have the opportunity to escape every day life to a few days of true relaxation with not a worry in sight. It is too easy to forget I am lucky enough to not be a tree and can move whenever I need.

I am not a tree. If I don’t like where I am, I simply stand up and walk away. But sometimes I need to be a tree and just stay put to remind myself things aren’t so bad where I’m rooted.

 

Too long

It has been far too long. I can make up excuses like I’m busy, tired, have nothing to say, but the truth is I have just neglected writing.

As I find myself 33,000 feet somewhere over the continental US I decide it is time to flip open my laptop and feel the keys beneath my fingertips.

I don’t have much on my mind worth putting in black and white but seeing abstract characters fill an otherwise white page is somehow relaxing.

Should I ramble on about daily life? daily stresses? daily happiness? Should I post about favourite things? things that inspire me? pet peeves?

Should I just be happy to have written something at all.

It has been far too long.

t.g.2016

Under the Hood

I have spent a lot of time staring at a blank page on my computer. I write a few words only to delete them revealing a blank page once again. I’m not sure if it is fear of not writing the ‘right’ words or a matter of not having anything worthy to say. Maybe it is just my mood as of late.

As I sit home sick on the couch sidelined for a week, I snuggle up in my favourite hoodie feeling sorry for myself. I hide under my hood pulled over my head thinking of all the things I want to change, things I feel guilty about not doing, places I’d rather be exploring and focusing on the negative instead of discovering an optimistic path. I hide under my hood waiting for something that won’t happen without me getting off the couch.

First I need to fight to not be sick anymore. Time to get off the couch and feed my body what it needs to heal.

t.g.2016

Courage

Set aside your preconceived notions of what may happen.

Be open to anything that will happen.

Put away your insecurities and self-judgments.

Feel strong, secure and confident.

Forget other people may judge for they may also be there for support.

Leave the excuses not to go for a time when they are actually valid.

Dig deep for the excuses that encourage you to do it.

Never be afraid to fail.

Remember the feeling of accomplishment and hold on.

Forget fear.

Embrace excitement.

Life would be boring if we never stepped out of our comfort zone.

 

t.g.2016