Under the Hood

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I have spent a lot of time staring at a blank page on my computer. I write a few words only to delete them revealing a blank page once again. I’m not sure if it is fear of not writing the ‘right’ words or a matter of not having anything worthy to say. Maybe it is just my mood as of late.

As I sit home sick on the couch sidelined for a week, I snuggle up in my favourite hoodie feeling sorry for myself. I hide under my hood pulled over my head thinking of all the things I want to change, things I feel guilty about not doing, places I’d rather be exploring and focusing on the negative instead of discovering an optimistic path. I hide under my hood waiting for something that won’t happen without me getting off the couch.

First I need to fight to not be sick anymore. Time to get off the couch and feed my body what it needs to heal.

t.g.2016

3 years ago and tonight…

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3 years ago today I took the bold move to sign up for a WordPress account.

3 years ago today I felt compelled to start sharing my thoughts with anyone who cared to read.

3 years ago I shared my thoughts with everyone.

3 years ago I thought maybe someone, anyone would be interested in what I had to say.

3 years ago today I bared my soul.

3 years ago today I procrastinated because I was distracted.

3 years ago today was no different from today yet incredibly different…

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Tonight I find myself in a very different place than I did 3 years ago.

Tonight I find myself awake, happy and yearning to write.

Tonight I find myself fighting sleep because as I glance out the window it is snowing and it is awe-inspiring.

Tonight it is freezing but the snow falling is beautiful gorgeous brilliant amazing beyond any word I could write. It is powerful and makes me grateful to live in a city that truly experiences 4 seasons a year.

Tonight I spent time with friends from different parts of my life.

Tonight I try to remember what is most important to me.

Tonight I will to figure out what I need tomorrow.

For tonight I don’t want it to end because I am right where I need to be in this moment.

t.g. 2013

Reasons to (not) go to Yoga

I haven’t been feeling well the past few weeks. The dreaded seasonal cold has made its way around and finally settled in my head. Although it was (shamefully) nice to lay on the couch for a few days and not worry about what was on my desk at work or worse, what was piling up in the laundry basket, I decided I had enough and was about to take drastic measures to chase the cold out of my body.

Up off the couch I got and to the surprise of my hubby, I went to the gym last night. Yes, I whined to my trainer and told him I wasn’t up to my usual self, but to his credit, he said “Good to know, now let’s get to work.” Deadlifts, bicep curls, push ups and everything else we did left me exhausted yet energized. Maybe there is something to “sweating it out” after all.

I’m back to work today feeling rotten and sorry for myself. Fortunately as I hung up my coat this morning, my yoga bag stared me in the face.  It said nothing (after all, it is just a bag 😉 ) but knowing it was there nagged me all morning. I spent the better part of 2 hours coming up with reasons to (not) go to yoga.

1. I have work I should catch up on so really need to work through my lunch. – Don’t be silly, the company is insistent on employees taking a minimum 30 minutes away from work for lunch and encourages health and fitness.

2. I could just walk through the mall and do a few errands I have been putting off. –  Really? You’ve procrastinated already, one more day isn’t going to matter especially if the reason is yoga and not spending money.

3. I have to go outside in the cold to get to the yoga studio and I might get another chill.  – The fresh air will be good for me since I’m stuck in recycled air all day and I wore a warm coat today.

4. I feel ROTTEN.  – Ah, but I always feel better after 50 minutes of warmth, quiet and connection with my mat.

5. I don’t feel like it. – I feel like it once I get inside the warm studio.

6. Did I mention I just don’t feel like it?

……

Yes, the internal arguing actually continued on the walk to the studio but I did go. 50 minutes of Yoga Flow and as I predicted, I am wondering why I even bothered to try to talk myself out of it. I feel amazing better than I did an hour ago and I’m definitely more awake and ready for an afternoon of productivity.
I will flag this post and read it the next time tomorrow when I try to talk myself out of going to Yoga.

My mat welcomes me as does a ray of warm sunshine.

My mat welcomes me as does a ray of warm sunshine.